Mission Impossible
by Super Sashimi
Summary: The Gullwings are asked by Cid to do an impossible mission.. to set Brother up and give him a makeover! Flames ignored, but still accepted..review! COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Square Enix owns FFX2 and its characters. The plot is mine, mine, mine!

Special thanks to Isabelle and Diego for helping me with this fic…

It will be told in Rikku's point of view… He is her brother, after all.

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**MISSION IMPOSSIBLE**

How did I get into this mess again?

The whole thing was Pop's fault, actually. Pops, being tired of getting old and having no grandchildren, commissioned the Gullwings to do the impossible. We (meaning me, Yuna and Paine) had to give Brother a makeover, _then _set him up on a date. Add the fact that Brother was excited, annoying and hyper, this wasn't going to be easy.

Yup, this was going to be harder than Sin and Vegnagun combined with a million evil clones with a bunch of Dark Aeons.

So anyway, Pops came strolling over to Besaid one day, and asked us to do the impossible. And maybe I was drunk on fruit juice, or maybe the hopeful look in his eyes was getting to me, I agreed.

After telling my fellow Gullwings, I braced myself for their reactions. Yuna went wild over the idea of a makeover, while Paine just rolled her eyes, and gave me an I'm-gonna-kill-you-when-this-is-over look. Actually, it was more of a glare.

So now the three of us (plus Brother) were in the cabin of the Celsius, deciding what we were going to do. After careful deliberation, Yuna left to go shopping for hair products, magazines, and all the like, Paine mysteriously disappeared (I hate her), therefore leaving me with Brother.

"Rikku," he screamed. "What kind of look should I go for?" I winced at the shrill annoyingness his voice had. Grr, Pops is gonna be sooooooo dead when I'm done with this. Looking back at Brother, I saw that he got to picking his finger nails. Bored, I pulled out my newest Garment Grid (hehe, not even Yunie and Paine had seen this), and arranged the dress spheres.

"Ooh, Rikku!" Brother sounded genuinely interested. This was bad. "Is that a new Garment Grid for me?"

Before I even had the chance to hide it from his Evil Grasp of Doom, the aforementioned Evil Grasp of Doom had reached it. Holding the Grid, Brother then proceeded to _experiment _with the dress spheres.

First, his Evil Hand touched my Songstress Dress Sphere. I had to pinch both my cheeks to try keep from bursting out in loud laughter, but it was to no avail.

"Mmmphh!" My muffled laughter caused Brother to glare at me in a _very _evil-looking way. It kinda reminded me of Paine. So anyways, Brother was in tight miniskirt, and he wore the same top and accessories. At that fateful moment, Barkeep entered with Darling.

"OOOHHH!" said Barkeep with even gogglier eyes. (How he managed that, I have no idea). "Yoos ish a very shpretty shcreature!"

Darling looked ready to kill, and Brother had just gone really pale with horror.

This is definitely disturbing, and as luck had it, Yuna and Paine chose that exact moment to return.

I swear. You would have heard their laughter all the way in Zanarkand, and we were over _Besaid_, for Spira's sake.

Brother scowled at the scene, then changed back to his normal outfit. Barkeep looked purely horrified that the "very shpretty shcreature" was Brother. I guess even Hypellos knew how mentally disturbing that was.

_Thud_!

Barkeep had fainted.

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Several minutes later, Barkeep had regained consciousness, and YRP was now able to continue the makeover session. Honestly, it was like we were those gay guys from that show.

"Okay! First things first. We need to get rid of your tattoos, piercings, and makeup," Yuna said. She really was into this whole thing. Maybe she should have her own TV show, you know, like "Makeovers from Lady Yuna".

I giggled at this thought, and Paine flashed me a strange look. I shut my mouth instantly and tried to focus on what Yuna was saying.

"… I've already gone shopping for your new clothes, and I also got some _real _shampoo."

"But I use good shampoo!" complained Brother. Yeah, like motor oil was shampoo.

Yuna reached into one of her many shopping bags and pulled out a bottle of 'Pure honey Shampoo'.

"You should use this shampoo. It's 5 pure honey." said Yuna. I found this odd. Why the heck did the label say 'Pure Honey' when it had only 5 of it all in all?

"No way in Spira am I going to use BEE VOMIT for MY hair!" screamed Brother stubbornly, crossing his arms over his chest. He honestly looked like a little boy.

Paine snorted and I merely raised my eyebrow. Yuna just looked…. confused.

"Bee vomit? But this is honey shampoo," said Yuna falteringly. Sighing, I faced Brother and gave him a Big Evil Glare of … um… Evil. Yeah, that was it. It didn't work though, because Brother just glared back at me. That big meanie.

Paine must've been getting really tired of the whole scenario because she drew her sword and gave Brother a Look. Brother instantly shut up.

"You will cooperate with this 'mission', because I am sick and tired of wasting my time on this," growled Paine. Brother whimpered and nodded in agreement.

"Good," smiled Paine in a really creepy vampire-ish way. I shuddered to think what would happen to me if I were on the receiving end of that smile.

Yuna was now back to her normal self again and she began walking over to the many paper shopping bags she brought. She gave a handful to me, another handful to Paine and kept the rest for herself.

"Okay! Time to get started!" yelled Yuna enthusiastically.

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After several Paine-ful hours (heehee, I made a pun) we stepped back from Brother to see the results. I swear, my jaw must have broken in two when it hit the floor. Yuna looked happy, and even Paine looked satisfied. We did a great job.

Brother was now transformed into a gentelmanly Al Bhed. The only thing you'd recognize about his old self was his Mohawk, and we even managed to improve _that_.

We dressed him in a black suit and black dress shoes. We managed to remove his piercings and tattoos (thanks to a little chemical produced by Shinra). I never knew Yuna had this much style finesse inside of her. Guess you never now what to expect from a High Summoner, huh.

"You look great Brother!" squealed Yuna. "Yeah, now all we have to worry about is your blind date," I chimed in.

"A blind date!" said Brother disbelievingly. "But with who?"

"I already took care of that minor detail," sniffed Paine. "I called Nhadala earlier, and she agreed to a blind date tonight, in Luca." Ah, so that's why she disappeared earlier.

"Nhadala?" Brother's eyes shined with adoration at her very name. I guess he managed to overcome his… uh… _crush _on Yuna. Poor Nhadala.

"Rikku!" Brother's shrill voice cut through my thoughts. "You must help me on this date." Gosh, he was being overly dramatic again. He was practically kissing my feet.

"Aw, alright." I answered. Hey, don't look so shocked at my easy acceptance of his request. He was family after all. (Plus Pops would kill me if I screwed this up.)

"I have the perfect gadgets," I said. I rushed over to my cabinet and took out a few hand-dandy items. Paine looked at me suspiciously. I smiled back cheerfully at her. Hehe, she'll never learn about me spying on her little 'meetings' with Baralai.

"Are those the ones you used to spy on me and Baralai?"

Oh, I was _soooooooooo_ BUSTED.

"Hehe," I laughed uneasily, glancing back at Paine. She didn't look happy. I pinned a flower on Brother, and put a small earring in his left ear.

"Um, Rikku, what exactly are those?" asked Yuna. I rubbed my hands together, getting in the 'Cool Gadget Girl' mode.

"The flower has a micro commsphere, so we can see _and_ hear what's going on, and the earring is a miniature speaker so Brother can hear what I'll be saying to him," I explained cheerfully. I held up a necklace. "I'll be wearing this necklace. It's a mike, so I can tell Brother what to do and say".

Brother was smiling in a really grateful way. I could sense his love for Nhadala a million miles away.

"All right! Time to get started!" I yelled. I high-fived Yuna and Paine. Time to start Mission Impossible!

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Thanks for reading!

Next chapter:

We'll find out how Brother's date with Nhadala goes….

Review as always…

**Kwitchie.**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: square owns FFX2 and all its characters… the plot is mine

Thanks to those who reviewed! Here's the last chappie as a gift…

**CHAPTER 2**

"Y,R,P, in position," I whispered into my spy-thingy..er..mic. "Roger," came Yunie's voice, enthusiastic and happy at this mission. "Roger," grumbled Paine's voice, sounding a bit irritated. Scratch that, sounding _really _irritated at this mission. I think she was miffed because she found me spying on her and Baralai again just before we left. Hey, don't look at me. It wasn't my fault that I just happened to have a sphere on hand while they were having another 'meeting'. Tee hee hee.

The night was perfect for a date, and of course, being one of the busiest places in Spira, Luca was crawling with couples going out. I was crouched somewhere in the air vent, whilst Yuna was on a 'date' with Tidus. From her position, she could see everything that happened perfectly. Heck, even Shelinda was here, covering the hottest date spots in Spira for a news feature. Paine had drawn the unlucky straw, and was now in her Mascot dress sphere. Hmmm, wait a minute, she was supposed to be _handing out_ balloons, not popping them.

"Paine," I whispered into my mic. "You're supposed to be a _happy and enthusiastic _mascot, not a _sour and angry _one." I looked over at her, and she showed me her right fist, covered in all of its Tonberry glory. I narrowed my eyes at this. Of course it contained a very rude hand gesture.

"Minus 300 respect points for you, you big meanie," I whispered angrily in my mic. She just responded by raising her other hand. Grrrr, that wimp.

Just then the door opened and in came Brother and Nhadala. They looked so cute together. I couldn't help sighing. Nhadala for once had taken off her goggles, and she wore a great evening gown made of some shimmery peach-colored material. Plus her hair was in a chignon, and she had a diamond necklace and earrings to match. Brother still kept his great make-over look. The head waiter showed them to a table right in the perfect place. I guess paying that sleaze-bag of a waiter all my gil wasn't that bad an idea.

The menu was placed before them, and I could see Brother fidgeting, his eyes open wide. "Brother, what the heck is wrong?" I whispered to myself. "Rikku, the menu is entirely in Spirian!" whispered Yuna urgently. "You know how bad Brother is in the language department. All he basically knows is Al Bhed!"

I groaned LOUD in frustration. The couple below my hiding place looked towards the ceiling when they heard the groan, and I was in full-panic mode. Suppose they found me out? I might blow the whole mission, and Brother won't have a chance with Nhadala! And even worse, Pops might make me his heir instead!

"You're right," said the woman to her partner. "The painter they got for the ceiling is a good one. Let's ask the manager who did it. It will be perfect for our new home."

I relaxed, thanking the stars that the people below were as dense as shoopufs. I turned my attention back to Brother, and to my horror, he was showing Nhadala the Nose Chopsticks. I mentally smacked him, because the look on Nhadala's face suggested that she smelled dung around here.

"Brother!" I whispered shrilly into my mic. "What the HELL are you doing down there!"

"Rikku! The Nose Chopsticks are what identify TRUE men, not like those sissy men who pull out lady's chairs for them and give them flowers!" shouted Brother with his ubiquitous annoyingness, forgetting that he was supposed to whisper. Nhadala looked at him like he was crazy, (I personally think she's right), and the whole restaurant glared at Brother, especially the "sissies".

"Eh heh, sorry," apologized my thick-headed half-wit of a brother. And to my complete surprise, (and Yunie's and Paine's, too), that nosy acolyte-turned-reporter Shelinda stuck her microphone into his face and began asking questions.

"Hello there, Spira! This is your ace reporter Shelinda, reporting live at the newest addition to Luca's restaurants!" smiled Shelinda to the camera.

"We have a few special guests tonight, including High Summoner Yuna, and the leader of the Gullwings, Brother! And my,my, if it isn't the Sir Tidus, accompanying the High Summoner on a very special date!" and at this statement, Shelinda winked in a really obvious-but-I'm-trying-not-to-show-it way at the camera. I heard Tidus whisper something to Yuna.

"Hey, isn't she the annoying acolyte from two years ago?"

"Yes, but now she's an annoying acolyte-turned-reporter."

Their laughter was cut off when Nhadala suddenly jumped up from the table, shrieking her head off because of the huge cockroach Brother had shown her.

I just groaned in frustration and prayed for the date to be over soon.

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Dinner miraculously went well up to the point where it was… well it didn't go well at all. Brother had ordered pasta, salad, caviar, and champagne for him and Nhadala. Good thing he took a minute in the bathroom where I told him exactly what to order.

So back he went to his beloved Nhadala, skipping as friskily as a lamb. Yup, a lamb, including the bleats. Nhadala just stared at him as he tripped over the carpet, crashed into a waiter, and as a result, spilled hot soup all over Tidus. Hahaha, I couldn't help but laugh at that one. Tidus glared at him.

Brother then sat down and started to eat his food with his hands.

"Brother! Use the SILVERWARE!" I whispered urgently.

"But I'm not wearing any silver, except for my thong!" shouted my psychotic freak-of-a-brother again. Nhadala glared at him and didn't say anything as people around laughed loud at them. I even heard a few catcalls. That was just sick. I think it came from Rin over there, who was dining with O'aka. They sure made a lovely couple.

"No, I mean use the spoon and fork!"

"Oh, okay"

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After they finished their meal, the band came on, playing a waltz. Brother beckoned to his date to dance with him on the dance floor. Nhadala looked pleasantly surprised and instantly agreed. I was happy at the sudden turn of events until Brother suddenly danced some lame retro disco thing. Very odd.

Nhadala looked at him oddly, and just went and sat at the bar. Seeing this, I told Brother to stop dancing and to join her, but he acted as if he didn't hear me.

TWO HOURS LATER…..

Brother was now break dancing, and Nhadala just downed her 17th glass of vodka. I myself was playing I-Spy through the mike with Yuna and Tidus, and Paine was holding her sword, fending off any children who wanted to sit on her lap.

Suddenly Rin rose out of his chair, leaving a bewildered O'aka behind. He sat down at the bar a little too close to Nhadala. I saw him put a hand on her shoulder.

"Brother!" I urgently whispered. "Rin is trying to hit on your date!"

That definitely got him to stop dancing, and I saw him march over to the bar with an angry look on his face.

"Nhadala, don't let this creep annoy you!" shouted Brother.

"Oh, Brother, I'm so sorry" said Nhadala, not looking very sorry at all. "But I only agreed to this date because I wanted to make Rin jealous."

I think my head exploded at this point.

"It happened like this," she continued. "Rin and I had a big quarrel when we were still dating, and we kinda said some hurtful things to each other. It turns out my lovely sweet Rin here was just pretending to be gay with O'aka so he could get ME jealous."

At this point O'aka passed by and when he heard her words, he took a started sobbing really loud. Rin noticed him and said "Oh, I am very sorry for the pain I have caused you O'aka, but I know someone who really loves you. It happens to be the head waiter over there."

So then O'aka stopped crying and immediately rushed over to the head waiter. I could hear the two of them murmuring and they left the restaurant holding hands. Gross, much?

Looking back at the bar, I saw Brother staring open-mouthed at Nhadala and Rin, who were cuddling each other now. He left instantly. I saw Paine trying to follow him, but the waves of children wanting to sit on her lap was just too much for her too handle. Yuna and Tidus were nowhere to be found. I guess it was up to me then.

I dropped down from my hiding place, surprising the couple below me. I mumbled a quick apology and dashed outside. I saw Brother seated on the fountain just outside the entrance to restaurant, and before I could reach him, I saw Shelinda running up to him.

"Excuse me sir, I'm doing a feature on broken hearts and how to mend them," said Shelinda, and she gave the camera a dazzling smile.

I stopped dead in my tracks because she had the nerve to ask such a rude question. I got my daggers out, ready to hurt her, until I heard Brother's reply.

"Well, the best thing is to be interviewed by such a beautiful woman like yourself," he said, and kissed her hand. Shelinda blushed, HARD.

I couldn't believe the audacity of my brother. He just had his heart broken a few seconds ago, and now he was hitting on SHELINDA?

"Let's go back to my hotel then," said Shelinda mischievously. Whoa, the girl had spunk.

So the two of them went hand in hand to the hotel….

I must have hurled for about an hour after that.

**FIN**

That's it for you!

If you guys want an epilogue… review!

The epilogue could take place at Nhadala and Rin's wedding…

**kwitchie**


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